Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Tuesday the 10th

I was admitted to MSK urgent care back in Jan around the 13th.  I was severely dehydrated and felt horrible.  The Dr. had suggested that I check myself in the night before but I wanted to take care of some important paper work, like my Health Care Proxy and Living Will. 

One of the symptoms of my cancer is the narrowing of the esophagus and in my case it completely shut down to a tiny passage, so small and constricted that even taking in liquids, like that pesky thing 'water', became impossible.  Do deal with this problem, it had been predetermined that I would have a 'shunt' put in my esophagus, this is an expandable pipe of sorts to force open the constricted passage and allow the intake of necessary nutrition and liquids.   The only problem, it was scheduled a week and a half ahead of my admittance, I would not live that long if I had to wait.  When I was in urgent care it was decided that installing one would be the first course of business and the following day after entrance I was brought down for surgery at the end of the day.

Not five minutes before I was wheeled into surgery I received a call, my son had just dislocated his right shoulder in a wrestling match.   Nothing like added anxiety and worry.   I was wheeled out of surgery feeling like shite.  I spent nearly the next 24 to 48 hours vomiting blood, I frankly don't remember the total time span.   The shunt was removed, I don't even remember being taken down for that procedure.

A day later a feeding tube was installed, I've been using it ever since.  

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Two in the morning

And I am awake.  It's been like this in one way or another it seems for sometime now.  My body clock being off from the waking world.  But then, that is not really surprising as my body has been out of sync for some months now in a most obvious way.

It became self apparent to me when summer vacation had ended, the new school year had start, the weather was just beginning to fall and the weather was a minor tingle on some mornings.  I felt a tightness in my chest, a small hollow and minor burning spot directly beneath my sternum.  Turned out it wasn't GERD or acid reflux disease as I first thought.

No, several months of slowly losing weight and then it getting to the point where I could not swallow food nor drink around Christmas made it apparent that something more serious was amiss. By the high holidays and the results beginning to come in from several tests proving several tumors were obstructing my esophageal pathway and my stomach, cancer was suspected and confirmed.

If you are reading this blog, it is most likely because I have invited you here to keep abreast of my health and situation, as it were.   I have had so many people reach out to me, that the sheer number makes it impossible for me to address each one individually as I would like, more importantly, the fact is, my energy levels are so intermittent during the day that often during daylight hours I have neither the strength nor capacity to carry on a conversation, whereas at 2 in the morning and all asleep save but me.

So, stay tuned.   I will try to catch everyone up in the coming days on the activities since Christmas and up to my current condition ASAP.

In short, I am ok, have gone through my first bout of chemo, am eating (if you call feeding tube nutrition eating), the pain is overall manageable and I feel optimistic.   And, thank you for caring and letting me know your thoughts, prayers, etc., it has meant more to me than you know.